Emotionally speaking…Sexual Harassment, Gender Sensitivity- How one affects the other.

Usually when the issue of sexual harassment in the school milieu is brought up, our brains are quick to process the concept within the limitations of teacher/staff/administrator/professor against student. Well, what about student against student? It’s a real phenomenon. It’s growing. We hear about it every day, and we  either go ahead and do something about it, or fold our arms. Whatever angle we choose, how are we preventing or aggravating this social ill?

I got inspired to put my thoughts in writing following a phenomenon I encountered few days ago which got me reflecting on what kind of Africa our generation would lead. I reside just beside a government secondary school which harbors over five thousand students each year. On my way to the grocery shop to get a few items for breakfast, I passed by this group of four to five very young students, and immediately one of them yelled in French, “Hey ma Cherie, tu as les belles fesses,” English translation of “ Hey girl, u got nice ass”, among other denigrating utterances. They laughed and cheered, and a taller, more older-looking one reached out to get a feel of my butts. So nauseated, I ignored and continued my way, then I stopped, turned around and said something to him, which you will discover at the end of this page.  Now, my biggest trepidation was not exactly the fact that boys were verbalizing nasty thoughts to me, a complete stranger, or that it’s been more than seven years since I graduated secondary and High School and hence not part of that world anymore, but rather, WHO was vocalizing such words??

He was so young, probably 14. It got me thinking about that girl at school who probably is a victim of such sexual harassment and how perhaps, she keeps silent and nothing has been done about it. How she goes about her daily activities with that verbal wound in her heart. How it may tend to re-surface only several years later when she starts feeling insecure about her own body and her worth as a woman. This young boy also represents that group of young people who are part-time road Romeos, who ogle women and see them as sex objects. And today, quite a number of students consider this act of “eve teasing” normal, funny and harmless. Who knows? Do they even find anything wrong with it? From what I’ve seen so far, I would say No.

Most girls would agree with me that nasty slangs are not exactly a new concept, especially in Cameroon where I come from. We get dirty comments daily from all categories of road Romeos, guys in the market, or on my way to work, all revolving around sexuality, and I would console myself with the premise that they are just so uneducated and tunnel minded. So, what am I to conclude when it’s coming from a child so young, actively involved in an educational program, who probably has no idea of what he’s talking about, or the implications of such an act? Someone who could himself be a victim?

Then I reminisce on my years as a junior student, and I remember clearly that we would dare not utter such words or even speak to someone in assorted clothing or an older student in such a lowly manner, talk not of throwing derogatory slangs at them, not because some school authority told us not to, but because it was just unheard of. Wrong.  But seems it’s now turned out to be the new “thing” among younger populations.  If the severity of this issue in our educational communities grows by the day, then something should clearly be done. So I have a plethora of questions in my head I can’t help but ask. What has changed? What are school authorities doing to address the issue? What roles are parents playing in the education of their children?  Is it the sole responsibility of the school administration, the duty of the parents, or both?

Is there a zero-tolerance policy towards sexual harassment in schools? What systems have been put in place to guarantee gender sensitive school communities?  Are parents themselves aware that these problems exist? What grassroots initiatives are they taking at the household level to nurture children in a gender-sensitive atmosphere? Are there any special programs on gender which are mainstreamed into the school curriculum?

What about mothers? How gender-sensitive are we as the first educators of children? What efforts do we make to create safe and positive spaces for children of both sexes? How do we tolerate our traditional and orthodox beliefs and practices without reinforcing gender stereotypes in the face of our children?

Too many questions I guess, but many would agree that the rebuttals are still scrappy. However, If most of us agree that youth are the leaders of tomorrow, and that the philosophies which we incline towards and adhere to as young people are great determinants of our future leadership styles, then exactly what kind of leaders do we expect to vanguard our world in the nearest future? As long as those vital attitudes, standpoints and virtues indispensible in the moral maturity of human beings are lacking at such a latent but significant juncture in the lives of young girls and boys, then we can only await the gender disasters that we can already foresee, or take the bolder step and start using our own individual instruments to affect positive change in relation to gender.

I very strongly believe that the solutions to the MDGs especially MDG3 don’t depend solely on expensive solutions and big project investments. They begin with you. In your home, the way you raise your children, the way we treat your housemaid, the way you communicate with adolescents, the way you treat your spouse, how you choose to educate your offspring. It begins with you!

So, just a quick look back at the encounter I had with the student. When I turned around, here’s what I told him “You know, you can do better than that”, and I moved on. Now, I don’t know if he took a second to think about what he just did, and I don’t know if that phrase made him question his integrity, but one thing I am cocksure of is I didn’t turn a blind eye in the face of downright sexual harassment and hence contributed in my own way towards gender sensitivity.